God In Music In God

Music is my constant. Music is always there when I need it. It will not leave me for someone better looking, for someone funnier, for someone more athletic or smarter. Music has a place in side my soul and my soul has a place inside it. It warms me in the cold of loneliness and keeps me cool in the heat anger. It fills my emptiness and pours out the many cracks that make me so perfectly imperfect. Music brings out the best of me and fills my eyes with rose colored tears. Music will always be there, it will always love me, it will always care, and it will always forgive me when I do it wrong. Spoken from my lips it kisses me wrapping around my hands it comforts me, whispered in my ear it gives me strength.

Music brings me hope, brings me, brings me peace, brings me patience, brings me kindness, brings me gentleness, brings me self control, and music brings me love. Music protects me when I am week and guards my heart from evil. It fills my mind with imagination and my soul with goodness. Music always was and always will be. Music can not be described by human words, but exists a part from man, it exists as something higher, something that we can call upon but not fully understand. It fills the hearts of all, but some are deaf too its passion.  Music is there for all, will conquer all, and music will always prevail.

God is my constant. God is always there when I need it. He will not leave me for someone better looking, for someone funnier, for someone more athletic or smarter. God has a place in side my soul and my soul has a place inside it. He warms me in the cold of loneliness and keeps me cool in the heat anger. He fills my emptiness and pours out the many cracks that make me so perfectly imperfect. God brings out the best of me and fills my eyes with rose colored tears. God will always be there, He will always love me, He will always care, and He will always forgive me when I do Him wrong. Spoken from my lips He kisses me wrapping around my hands He comforts me, whispered in my ear He gives me strength.

God brings me hope, brings me, brings me peace, brings me patience, brings me kindness, brings me gentleness, brings me self control, and God brings me love. God protects me when I am week and guards my heart from evil. He fills my mind with imagination and my soul with goodness. God always was and always will be. God can not be described by human words, but exists a part from man, He exists as something higher, something that we can call upon but not fully understand. He fills the hearts of all, but some are deaf too His passion.  God is there for all, will conquer all, and God will always prevail.

The Questions

It’s in my chest, Pressure, like a balloon inflating. Every time she’s near me. Every time she touches me I feel it, that fire that starts to burn in my soul. I stop breathing; I close my eyes, exhaling gets hard. I stop time, I stop life, Nothing else maters at that moment but the feeling in my heart.

A feeling like the sun, you hold in your soul because it’s warm, but it burns you, it slowly melts you away, but without it your cold. Without it your floating in an empty space, nothing to tie you down, no land to fall too. Flashes of her face go through your mind, her eyes,

 Oh those eyes,

 And her smile,

 Seeing that smiles brings me more joy then is humanly possible, it’s purely and act of God.

 Then you remember, you realize, that she will never feel the same way about you. The feeling you have then starts to feel incomplete. You realize that there’s nothing keeping this flame in your soul a float. It gets heavy and sinks down into your stomach. Replacing it is the void, that black hole of emptiness that seems to suck your joy and life away. It slowly sucks away all the hope you had. Your hope was great, so it took many moons to do. But now all that’s left is loneliness, loneliness in that spot where you once felt the biter sweet taste of love. You feel the warmth of friendship; it’s a friendship like you have never felt before. Though it leaves you confused. The lines of love start to cross. You wonder; what is love? How can there be different kinds of love? How do I distinguish lust from love? Emotions in your heart sway like trees in the wind, side to side decisions made and then broken.

 Confusion and fear take over. I want to love her, I want to have love for her as pure as falling snow flake. But do I love her? What do I want from her? Why is it so important for me too feel her soft lips against mine? To hold her hand, her hand like drops of rain, her skin so soft. Why can I not be satisfied with what I have? Why can I not be satisfied with friendship?

 You are satisfied with friendship.

 I am?

 Yes. Love is love. People may say that there are different kinds, but it’s all the same. You need love and that need is being met. She loves you. What you’re lacking is happiness, and that can not be met by a person. People change and take your happiness with them. You must find happiness with in your self.

 I need happiness in myself.

Yes, you do. What makes you happy? Find it and hold on to that. Use that to fill up the hole in your gut. Then one day you can share your happiness with another. Happiness is not made by two people. Happiness is shared by two people. Find happiness then find someone else who is happy. Spread the joy.

Trees, Sunshine, and us.

There I was, in the forest. Trees, tree’s everywhere. Everywhere I look there are trees. The sunlight pours through the crack the tree line makes, a shattered sky, little blue shards of light filtering down. I lay there. I lay there on the dirt, leaves, and branches and feel the warmth hit my face, the little piece of sun shine that becomes my own personal sliver of light. If I could catch it and put it in a jar maybe I could save this moment forever. Maybe all of the feelings I have right now in my heart, maybe I could feel them whenever I want too. All I would have to do is open my box of sunshine.

 This is a perfect moment. As I turn too look at you and see you smile with your lips, oh those lips that are soft like an angel’s wing, I realize once again that I love you. I stare into those beautiful eyes, the ones the color of chocolate drops, candy that contrasts your white chocolate skin. When I stare at those eyes it’s like staring at the midnight sky for the first time. Overtaken by the spectacle of beauty I find something new every time I look at them. I get lost in them every time, but I don’t want to find my way back. You reach your had over to grab mine and are fingers intertwine, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle that have finally found there home. Together we make something new, something that you can’t see when we are a part. When I hold your hand it’s like our souls blend together like spiraling paint in a bucket slowly becoming thinner, individual colors and then melting into become one. We are one soul together. Blue and yellow make green.

Our souls become two notes, notes that when played together make a chord more beautiful then the notes played separate. At this moment all else fades away and there is no time there is no you and me, there is no forest, there are no trees. All that’s left is us. We are in love. At least I think so. I have never felt love so I can’t be certain. Though I’ve never felt this feeling either so they match the same description. If this isn’t love, if it’s something different though, I don’t want to be in love. I just want to be with you. This feeling can’t be love. Everyone feels love, only we are feeling this, right now. This feeling is us.

Together, by some miracle, we are a feeling. We are our feeling. We are a miracle. We are harmonic connections; we are something outside of time and space, something that is not governed by reality or laws of physics. We create our own rules. We are our own rules. Who are other people to tell us that we’re wrong? They are not a feeling, they are not us. We don’t know if they are real, but we know that we are. If we know anything, it’s that both of us exist. We validate each other’s existence. I feel love from her and she feels love from me. Because we feel we know we are real and because we feel each other we know each other are real. We know we are real. We know that this is real.